The Commitment Theory
by Dr. Timothy J. Maggs, © 1999
"It isn't what you get by reaching your goal, it's what you become by reaching your goal." -Zig Ziglar
One of the most admired qualities in our society today is that of true commitment. The ability to singularly focus on one objective and to move forward with an undying passion towards accomplishing a specific goal, whether it be a job, a marriage, an athletic event or even a favor for someone else requires strong character and discipline.
Pain Weakens Commitment
Unfortunately, for those who "haven't got time for the pain", it becomes almost impossible to develop the attitude necessary to totally commit to anything. As soon as pain or discomfort sets in, or as soon as the "greener grass" appears, most people will jump to another job, another marriage or the next athletic event, hoping that next time, success will come without pain suffering.
Any venture that has any long term value will very seldom come without some type of pain or discomfort. Pain must be looked at as growth points and defining moments in any journey. It's the actual experience of pain along the way which allows someone to truly rejoice with victory. The greater the pain in the journey towards victory usually translates into greater joy in celebration upon winning. And the only way to successfully clear the pain hurdles in life is with a dedicated commitment. Under the assumption that everyone's ultimate goal is happiness, the likelihood of reaching this goal will go up drastically the longer one can stay committed to their plan.
Ultimate Commitment
As an example, many paralysis victims were confronted with the option of totally committing themselves to improving both mentally and physically or giving up. This doesn't seem like much of an option, and I'm sure that's why most paralysis victims elect to move forward as difficult and painful as it may be. After the many seconds, minutes, hours, days months and years of the "what if'?s" and the "why me's?", an individual has to ultimately let go of the bitterness, frustration and pain because forward progress becomes prohibitive with all the unnecessary baggage of yesterday. A new commitment under the new set of circumstances produces a rejuvenated person with an undying spirit.
Once the bitterness is gone, a person can now accept the commitment and appreciation that many will never know. For some reason, the most handicapped person is usually one with no apparent handicap. Until you've lost something or stand to lose something of value, true commitment and appreciation are difficult to fully comprehend. While many of us will show sympathy to a paralyzed individual, keep in mind that who have lost have learned what true happiness is all about. It's not what you have in life, it's how you use and appreciate what you have in life. Unfortunately, most forget how lucky they are until they've lost something of value. Very little is as valuable as ourselves and our physical structure, and if part of that is lost at any time, a new level of challenge becomes permanent.
Benefits of Loss
With loss, however, you now have the great fortune of learning true commitment, of learning the thrill of victory in a battle for both physical and emotional survival. These new levels of consciousness are unattainable by the "non-handicapped". Tough times, which all humans face at one time or another, can only be successfully overcome with confidence, discipline and the desire to commit to a cause. Fear prevents many people from ever reaching new levels.
With severe tragedy and loss early on in life, it becomes easier to learn the formula to fight any battle life hands you--and win. You learn not to accept second best or mediocrity because of fear of the fight. You learn the golden rule of maximizing the potential of remaining faculties to reach previously unattainable levels. Your enthusiasm and zest for living would escalate on a daily basis. Ironically, your life would improve.
Why on earth should we have to lose to win? Sounds absurd! The reason lies in the fact that we are not forced into making commitments in our life. We continually leave roads for retreat when the pain gets too intense. We never develop that part of our life that gives the greatest victories. We end up running from pain, hiding from pain, hiring others to get rid of our pains and ultimately never doing anything for fear of potential pain.
Commit to Commit
According to Webster, commitment is "an agreement or pledge to do something in the future". Sounds so simple, doesn't it? If this is all it takes, why are there so many people in therapy, just to get through the day? Why are there so many people "working through issues" in their lives? Could it be that they have a hard time focusing on the agreements they made yesterday because there are so many new opportunities today? Or could it be that they've never learned that pain is a part of life and is as valuable to befriend as oxygen?
Short term fun and stimulation is what today is all about. Marriages stand a 50% chance of failing. Jobs have never had such a transient turnover in the history of our society. Delayed gratification is not encouraged anywhere in our educational system.
Success, happiness and achievement requires time. Point A to Point B. Very seldom are there shortcuts. The path of the tortoise to victory has become far more than folklore. It is the only way. With any commitment to any venture, there will be periods of pain. The key is to be ready for the pain when it comes. Be prepared for the pain. Continue on your course and the pain will dissipate. Work in a constructive and positive manner, not a destructive and reactive manner. Stick to your course, don't shift direction just to eliminate the pain. Always remember, on the other side of pain lies a pasture full of happiness and success. Just cross the finish line in a marathon, and you'll agree. Drop out at the 23 mile mark and you'll agree even more.
The formula is simple. Decide what you want in your life. Remember, you can choose anything. Sounds almost too good to be true, but the beauty is, it is true. Make the pledge, lay down the strategy, burn your ships for retreat and don't stop until you get there. There are no ventures too lofty. And the worse thing is, the bigger the desire, the better your life will be even if you fall short. The journey becomes your reward more than the trophy, but it all begins by making that commitment to commit. Good luck.
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